How to Call your Brain's Bluff when you are a Complete Beginner

Okay, let’s get on the same page about one thing. I have complete and utter respect for our brain, the saving grace of the human race over the millennia. So when I call it a Liar, um, let me actually change that to a lowercase l, liar, I am doing so with the utmost respect.

That being said, I think I am doing the brain a favor. You see the brain has the hardest job around, to keep us safe in an ever-changing, increasingly complex and distracting world. It will continue to do that for us 24-7 without complaining or ever asking us to cut down on our activities, screen time or complicated lives.

So, the least we can do for our brains is to help it cut down on false alarms. The way we do that is by calling its bluff, calling it a liar (lowercase l) when it is lying or sending out false alarms. You see the false alarms are terribly exhausting for both the brain and body. Not to mention false alarms hijack our attention, make us constantly question our abilities, waste our time in worry, avoid people and places, and can even keep us craving things that are bad for us.

It is everyone’s best interest to be able to get a grip on these false alarms. Let me tell you how to do it.

1. Notice whenever:

• You have some of these thoughts: worries of what might happen in the future, rumination about the past, thoughts of being in danger, or self-critical  thoughts.

• You have some of these feelings: Anger, sadness, disgust, shame, not good enough.

• You have these imaginations: thoughts of worst case scenario, catastrophes or unlikely events, unrealistic happenings.

• You have these physical feelings: Rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, dizzy, stomach distress, headaches, irritability, fatigue, tension

• You do any of these behaviors: Avoid people or situations, nail biting, play with hair, overeat, over drink, try to escape thinking of a certain thing.

2. When you recognize any of the above, take a moment to question its validity.

3. I feel quite confident when I say, many of these will be indications that your brain is sending out a false alarm of some sort.

4. Call your brain’s bluff. Seriously, label whatever is going on a deceptive message.

5. Know that you have done your brain a serious favor and turn your attention to something different, better, more fun, more productive, anything that doesn’t reinforce the false alarm.

• Takeaway #1: Our brains are awesome! 
• Takeaway #2: Over time we reinforce our brain’s false alarms so our brain keeps sending them.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself when you Start to Feel Anxious.

There are definitely a bunch of things you could ask yourself when you start to feel anxious but here are 5 questions that might actually be helpful.

1. Have I recently had too much caffeine? Caffeine has it’s good sides but too much of even a good thing is too much. Green tea, herbal tea or decaf might be a good afternoon option.

2. Am I consuming too much refined sugar? Even if you don’t feel it, refined sugar can cause a rapid boost in mood followed by a crash with symptoms of...you guessed it, anxiety. If that is the case for you, see if you can cut back.

3. Have I taken on too much today, this week, for the foreseeable future? Our abilities to juggle everything definitely can wax and wane. Just because you can handle a ton of stuff one day doesn’t necessarily mean you can handle it for a week straight. It’s nothing to get down on yourself for, just check in and see if you’ve overextended. Mental note it and cut back where you can next time.

4. Was it something I ate? Food sensitivities are gaining more recognition and research backing these days. It’s hard to stay on top of every new food to try or not try, especially when there is a ton of contradictory information out there. That being said, there is some research to suggest that gluten may make you more likely to experience anxiety. Check back to your last meal/snack and see if there might be a correlation.

5. How is my sleeping? Okay here is a total chicken and egg conundrum. Sleep deprivation has been found to increase worry and anxiety. Well, convenient because worry and anxiety have been found to increase sleep deprivation. All this is to say, think about the quality of sleep you had last night if you start feeling anxiety. If you don’t put priority on good sleep, it might be time to start.

Figuring out the symptoms of our anxiety are pieces to the overall puzzle. Try not to leave any stone unturned, it could be the missing one!

• Takeaway #1: Reflecting on behaviors, not thoughts, can give you some insight into your anxiety too.
• Takeaway #2: Without too much trouble you can tweak some things in your diet to see how they impact your anxiety. 

3 Amazing Alternatives to Anxiety

This is for those that are always on the lookout for something better. Often they are the early adopters, the trendsetters.

Not to say anxiety doesn’t have it’s place. We’re not talking about the run of the mill heart pounding before a big presentation or the sweaty palms evoked by an awesome Tinder swipe. No, those are perfectly accurate brain/body messages getting you ready for what you need to do.

I’m talking 3 amazing alternatives to the type of anxiety that leaves you feeling pretty wrecked. The type that hugs as tight as a Minnesotan airport goodbye. Looms heavily over like a cloudy Portland day. That...well, you know the type I’m talking about. Let me break down 3 alternatives. There are probably more but these should get you started.

1. Read everything you can get your hands on by Jeffrey Schwartz, MD. He and his team have done phenomenal work helping with people with OCD. The work is totally applicable to all anxiety and if it doesn’t totally change your life it will plant a seed that is sure to germinate and change your life in the future!
2. Recent estimates put the number of adults suffering from anxiety at 40 million, with only a third of them seeking treatment. So....get treatment! Anxiety is highly treatable and you actually could pull yourself out of this pool. Don’t get me wrong, it requires effort and determination. But, I don’t think people realize how huge of a deal it is that people can alleviate their anxiety. Maybe I think it is a big deal because even though I’m skinny I will always have diabetes. No treatment can alleviate it. But yours is different and according to the numbers would definitely be an amazing alternative.
3. Befriend it. Yep, you heard me right. Stop trying to kick it to the curb and when it comes knocking, welcome it in. This is definitely a “meta” alternative and continuous reads of Rumi’s The Guest House will aid significantly in this effort. The way to make this work is to treat it like a friend you see all the time. You know the ones. They are super easy to be around because they don’t demand your constant attention. They appreciate a little love every now and again but they aren’t intrusive and and they definitely don’t try to change your life.

Okay, there you have ‘em, 3 bonafied amazing alternatives to experiencing anxiety in the modern world. Go ahead, grab one by the horns and give it a go. Let me know how it works for you!

• Takeaway #1: Accept that you have alternatives.
• Takeaway #2: Dare to be different.

Past, Present, Future

At every moment, we have three choices and three choices only.

We can let our thoughts be pulled back to what has happened in the past. Mulling over a past conversation with our partner, replaying a disagreement we had with a colleague, second guessing our decision to do this versus that, or kicking ourselves for eating this versus that. How much mental time do you spend here?

If you’re like me, you might spend more time in the future. Constantly planning for the next thing, predicting what I’m going to say and do, figuring out how things are going to turn out, even experiencing emotions of things yet to come. Sometimes even uncomfortable emotions like stress and worry...for something that isn’t even real! It hasn’t happened!

Last, and often least, we can choose to be in the present.

All my Eckhart Tolle genre reading had me thinking that “in the present” would feel different somehow. Like, I would know when I was being utterly in the moment and take on some sort of transcendent lightness. Unicorns and rainbows everywhere.

How could I have been so weird? And off target.

I have come to realize that me being in the present is catching myself when I am swimming in the past or flying toward the future. When I do, I simply stop that thought stream and start going with the flow of the present. No transcendent purple aura. No blissed out smile on my face. Just doing whatever I am doing. Driving. Writing. Searching online. When inevitably, I catch myself swimming or flying again, simply rinse and repeat.  Voila “the present”!

• Take away #1: Don’t expect unicorns and rainbows.
• Take away #2: As often as you think of this, ask yourself, “Am I in the past, present or future?” And then figure out where you want to be.

The Queen of Negative Predictions

I remember when I realized there was a technical name for it. Making “negative predictions”. Expecting not to enjoy a party, check. Expecting to feel too tired to exercise, check. Expecting that your boss won't like an idea, etc., check, check. They oozed out so naturally that I never really took time to think about them.

Saying I was prone to “negative predictions” seemed like an understatement. But I always thought that that was just me. My personality. Just the way I was.

In my defense, it wasn’t like I was a Debbie Downer. As a matter of fact my friends and coworkers would have been shocked to learn of this personality trait of mine.

Well, as it turns out this is pretty common. And I definitely wasn’t up a creek without a paddle.

“Negative predictions” are highly treatable because they are simply habits. Like all bad habits, you just have to notice that you are doing it. Then switch your focus to something else. 

Now, before you totally discount this as being oversimplified know that the act of totally discounting something because it seems to simple is a well documented universally human thinking error. Nothing more than a  deceptive brain message. So please, let it sink in this time and start trying.

• Take away #1: At any moment, at every moment, you can choose what to focus on.
• Take away #2: When you notice you are making “negative predictions” simple let yourself know that your brain is sending a deceptive message. Discount your negative prediction, and turn your focus.

You are the average of...

You are the average of your five mindsets you spend the most time with.  Wait, something doesn’t sound right about that. And yet, something sounds totally right about that. The late John Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." I think the same can be said for what goes on in your mind.

Think about the top five mindsets that run through your head on a daily basis. Sometimes specific thoughts and phrases are tough to think of on the spot. Let’s start with something easier. Think of the five feelings you have most throughout the day. Gratitude? Joy? Resentment? Pressure? Uncertainty?

If we were to rewind our day’s events in slow mo we would discover that it was specific thoughts that actually triggered these feelings. “My boss is a jerk”, “My daughter is so adorable”, “I heard there was going to be another round of layoffs again”, “My grant was accepted!”

• Take away  #1: Become more aware of what you are thinking during the day.
• Take away #2: Choose five good ones to surround yourself with most often.