5 Stealthy Chair Yoga Stretches That Won’t Get You Laughed Out of the Office

Time flies when you’re in the flow. And before you know it, you’ve been sitting at your comfy co-working spot for hours! Even though your mind feels like it can time travel without a problem, your body definitely starts to feel it. Hours spent in the same slouched or other posture-compromising position starts to take it’s toll on us. It’s as if our bodies cozy up a little too much with the whole ‘path of least resistance’ thing and forget that a range of motion is necessary to keep us at optimal health and comfort. Here are a few seated stretches you can do to stay limber enough to see your projects through to the end! And not look weird in the process.

1.The “Who else is here?” Stretch- This can be your go-to to release tension in your spine and lower back without encouraging funny looks from coworkers. What? You’re just looking around at who else has come in since you opened up the place hours ago.

• Sit on the edge of your chair with feet on the floor.
• Place your right hand on your left knee and grab the chair back with your left hand.
• Gently twist toward the chair and hold for a few breaths.
• Return to center and switch sides.

2. “I just rocked that section!” Stretch- Take a mid-afternoon refresher to stretch your shoulders, triceps, chest and hands.

• Sit with your legs hip width apart and feet flat on the floor.
• Clasp hands in front of you, interlocking your fingers. Stay here for a few breaths
• Turn your palms outward and raise straight over your head.
• Bend slowly to the left and hold for two breaths before repeating on the right side.
• Continue alternating for one minute.

3. “That was such a great idea I just thought of!” Stretch- This one will help you create that deep stretch your neck is craving. For best results, visualize your neck lengthening and the muscles along your vertebrae relaxing.

• Sit with your legs hip width apart and feet flat on the floor.
• Reach over your head and place your right hand on the left side of your head to gently pull your neck away from your shoulders.
• At the same time, hold firmly onto the chair with your left hand to draw your left shoulder away from your neck.
• Hold the pose for at least five more breaths, then release your left hand from the chair and gently massage your neck and shoulders with your left hand.
• Slowly lift the head and switch sides to repeat the sequence.

4. “Okay, so this is how I do it” Stretch- The way we sit for extended periods of time really takes a toll on our bodies. Crossing our legs while seated, especially when done on one side more than the other, can create imbalances in our hips and lower spine. Bring balance back and keep those hip flexors flexible with this stretch.

• Sit with your legs hip width apart and feet flat on the floor.
• Cross your right leg over the left at a 90-degree angle and let it drop toward the ground as much as it can.
• Keep your the foot flexed as to not place pressure on the knee.
• Distribute equal weight between the sitting bones while staying in an upright seated position.
• You should feel a gentle to moderate stretch on the outermost part of the right thigh.
• Hold 5 to 10 breaths before switching sides.

5. “What project should I crush next? Stretch- With this one, breathe deeply while stretching out your shoulders, back, chest, and hands.

• Sit with your legs hip width apart and feet flat on the floor.
• Interlace your fingers in front of you.
• Inhale and stretch your arms straight over your head.
• lower your hands to behind your head on an exhale.
• With your clasped hands behind your head, take three breaths as you gently stretch your elbows back until you feel the stretch.
• Inhale and raise above your head, keeping fingers interlaced.
• Unlace your hands and lower your hands to your sides on an exhale.

Try incorporating some of these each day so when a powder day comes, you’re ready! What are some of the things you do to help during those long days at your computer?

Is Anxiety Making Your Spanx Too Tight?

What do you reach for when you feel your anxiety starting to rise? What helps you release the tension that builds when you’re feeling worried, freaked out? What gets your mind off what you’re anxious about and onto something that feels better, if just a little? What do you reach for to calm your nerves? Yep, food.

Overeating to Cope

Why does overeating help? Seriously, why don’t we over-meditate or “over-something” a bit healthier? It sure would save us from compounding an already challenging anxiety situation, not to mention money on our ever expanding Spanx collection!

We’re wired for taking the path of least resistance. This seems to be especially true when we experience emotional discomfort. Few of us were ever taught the skills needed to get through tough emotional times in a healthy way.

As a result, most of us avoid, push down, deny or numb our feelings through whatever means most available to us at the time. Once we see that it works, it becomes a go-to habit. After that, this maladaptive strategy is employed over and over with very little thought.

Comfort and Control

Sometimes we keep reaching for “comfort food” because it reminds us of better times in the past. Other times we reach out for “treats” to get us through. And then sometimes we reach out for something that is usually “off limits” so we can subconsciously create the opportunity to stop feeling anxious and start hating ourselves. Seriously.

Eating also may serve a subconscious function of feeling like we are in control, because anxiety sure doesn’t feel that way. Or it may serve the subconscious function of feeling that we are choosing the lesser of two evils, either we can freak out or we can eat. So many possible reasons!

Each person is different, and I don’t want to make this issue sound too easy to fix. Habits are brutal. But with strategies in place and practice, it is possible to start a new habit around your anxiety and eating.

That said, the strategies I’m going to suggest may seem totally unappealing and I know it. They don’t come with any dopamine hit from getting a treat, they don’t set off a blood sugar spike in your bloodstream, they don’t release the neurochemicals involved in reaching for the “forbidden fruit” and they don’t insert a behavior that allows you to turn your emotions to anger.

I know, it is a tough sell.

Even for me and I teach this stuff! But, I ultimately believe in our ability (and need) to prevail against immediate gratification.

How to change your habit:

1. Recognize you’ve gotten into the habit of choosing food to address your anxiety or other feelings that aren’t comfortable.
2. Notice when you start to feel your anxiety (or other uncomfortable feelings).
3. Label your feelings and body experience as anxiety.
4. Tell yourself that you can handle these uncomfortable anxious feelings without eating.
5. Turn your attention onto something else. Yes, you are trying to distract yourself here.
6. Take deep breaths, with longer exhale than inhales.
7. Repeat steps 2–5 until you’ve moved past your discomfort. It may take a little while but will get easier the more you do this.

To recap: You start being more aware of your feelings. You tell your brain what is going on by labeling your anxiety. You tell yourself that you know your brain will want you to eat. And then you show your brain that you can handle it without food by turning your attention onto something else. Then you repeat the process over and over until you safely get past the discomfort without reaching for food or something else.

Like I said before, this process doesn’t come with any of the things we’re used to. It doesn’t instantly relieve the tension, it doesn’t give us a jolt of neurophysiological anything and it doesn’t allow us to transfer our anxiety to self-loathing.

BUT what it does give us is the ability to transform our anxiety in an empowering, healthy way and that eventually will become second nature!

4 Simple Ways to Up Your Creativity and Impress Your Boss (or Yourself!)

Creativity is increasingly becoming a top-tier asset in today’s economy. It helps us with everything from consistently generating viral content to being able to solve problems at work to having the next business idea that totally disrupts an entire industry, and everywhere in between. You can set yourself apart and make valuable contributions wherever you are by cultivating the ability to see things in new ways and tap into your creativity on the regular.

Want the edge you need to think creatively and productively?

Here are 4 tricks of the trade:

• Sleep on it. The half-asleep and half-awake times are the Holy Grail of diffuse thinking and breakthrough ideas. It is a time when our focused thinking is on pause so our diffuse thinking can rule the roost. And that it does!

So to use this time effectively, pose a specific question or idea for your brain to noodle on while you are going to sleep each night. In doing this, you are deliberately guiding your brain to find associations and connections in the direction you want.  When you wake up, spend the first 5 minutes journaling. Capture the first thoughts, ideas and insights that come to you.

• Take a walk. Mason Curry, of Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, studied the habits of nearly 200 of the world’s most prolific inventors and innovators over the ages and found that they all had one thing in common, they took walks. If you want to help activate your diffuse thinking/breakthrough idea mode start taking more walks.

Your walks don’t have to be a certain length of time but long enough for you to settle into a mind-wandering rhythm. Like the strategy above, before your walk deliberately invite your diffuse mind to work on a specific problem or outcome you’re working on. As you walk, take in the sights, smells and sounds you encounter. Pro tip: walking for diffuse thinking purposes works much better in environments that are less busy so your focused thinking brain doesn’t have to be engaged to help you navigate your surroundings.

• Take a break. You can power your way through a lot of things, but creativity is not one of them. If you’re involved in a project that requires creative thinking or innovative problem solving, you’ll be better off if you just take a break and stop thinking about whatever you’re thinking about.

Totally counterintuitive, I know. But in light of what scientists have learned about how absolutely vital our diffuse thinking mode is, it totally makes sense. So after you’ve reached a point where you’re not making progress on whatever it is you are working on, take a break from it. Move on to something else, or better yet, set your timer for 10 minutes, lean back and let your mind daydream away!

• Open Monitoring Meditation. In contrast to the more popular focused attention meditation (i.e. returning your attention to your breath), there is no object for you to focus on during your meditation. You start out by finding a comfortable position, relaxing your body and setting a timer for a short period of time. The aim here is to be aware of the thoughts or experiences that arise in your mind and to stay in a monitoring state of attention to them.

Without selecting, judging, or focusing on any specific thought, you allow yourself to be aware of things your mind is bouncing around on. You practice being an observer, not a director or controller, of your thoughts. The idea isn’t that you are going to stumble upon your breakthrough idea during this type of meditation but that you’ll strengthen your brain’s ability to allow the jumping around of ideas and create more associations.

Try one or all of these strategies and see for yourself! What are some things you do to build in diffuse thinking time?

Like It Or Not, You are the Average of the 5 Thoughts You Spend the Most Time With

There’s a famous saying, “You are the average of the five thoughts you spend the most time with.”

Wait, something doesn’t sound right about that. And yet, something sounds totally right about that.

The famous saying by the late Jim Rohn was actually, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” What he meant by that is that when it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced — whether we like it or not — by those closest to us. The people we spend the most time with affect our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Sure, we like to think we are our own independent snowflake, but research has shown that we’re more affected by our environment than we think.

I think the same can be said for your emotions and thoughts. I think if you were to reflect on your main thoughts you would see that they shape you more than you think.

Check it out and see for yourself. What are the thoughts you have most often?

Are you having a hard time remembering specifics? It’s really not much of a surprise if you are because scientists estimate we have anywhere from 12,000–60,000 thoughts per day!

If it’s hard to figure out one of those 60,000 thoughts per day off the top of your head, you can work backward from what feelings you recall having most often. We’re often more aware of how we feel then the actual thoughts that are causing the feelings. So think of the five feelings you usually have most throughout a typical day. Gratitude? Resentment? Pressure? Joy? Uncertainty? Irritation? Anger? Impatience? Creative? Stress?

Good. Once you identify the feelings you have most often you can backtrack to what types of thoughts might be causing them. You don’t even have to necessarily identify your exact thoughts, a ballpark grouping fits the bill here.

Use the feelings you just identified to recognize the thought “ballparks” you find yourself in most often? Negative thoughts, positive thoughts, worrisome, hopeful, realistic, unrealistic, anxious, assured thoughts?

It’s estimated that a ridiculously high percentage of the thoughts we have each day are repeats.

That’s right, most of our thoughts are recycled over and over each day.

If you are spending most of your day repeating negative thoughts, then it really doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that you’re going to trend toward the negative. If you spend most of your day repeating worrisome thoughts about this, that and the other thing then well, you can see how that will end up playing out. Likewise if you spend most of your day repeating thoughts along the lines of hopeful or positive thoughts, you’re going to trend in the opposite direction.

If you want to make changes in your life, start by tackling the thoughts you spend the most time with. If you find your thoughts aren’t ones that will help you, you need to start thinking different thoughts. It actually is that simple.

Simple but not easy! I know, that’s an annoying saying…but it is true in this case. When you find yourself thinking or feeling a way you don’t like insert a different thought. Literally any other thought (assuming it is not similar to the one you want to get rid of) will do.

Often the hard part is being aware of your thoughts in the moment, which happens to be the ideal time to insert new ones. But the good news is that choosing new thoughts/feelings whenever you remember to think of them will start to produce positive results over time!

Give it a try, I’d love to hear how it goes for you.

Of These 3, Where Do You Spend Your Time?

Past, Present, Future

At every moment we can be in one of three different time zones. We can be in the past, present or future. Who says time machines and teleportation doesn't exist?Heading 2

The problem is we're rarely the one in the driver's seat. Most of the time our habitual patterns of thinking do the driving. And we just go along for the ride. 

We let our thoughts pull us back to what has happened in the past. Mulling over a conversation we had with our partner, replaying a disagreement we had with a colleague, second-guessing our decision to do this versus that, or kicking ourselves for eating this versus that. How often do you find yourself here?

If you’re like me, you might spend more time in the future. Constantly planning for the next thing, predicting what you're going to say and do, figuring out how things are going to turn out, even experiencing emotions of things yet to come. Sometimes you'll even totally stress yourself out...for something that isn’t even real! It hasn’t happened! Yep, know it. 

Last, and often least, we can spend time in the present.

All of my "power-of-now-genre" reading had me thinking that “in the present” would feel different somehow. Like, I would know when I was being truly in the moment because it would feel amazing and take on some sort of transcendent lightness. Unicorns and rainbows everywhere.

Total wishful thinking. And way off target.

Being in the present is merely catching oneself when swimming in the past or flying toward the future. And returning one's focus back to the here and now. No glowing purple aura. No blissed out smile. Just doing whatever one is doing right then and there. Driving. Writing. Searching online.

Sounds boring when I compare it to the emotional drama or self-righteous reliving of past events. Or compared to the cortisol and adrenaline pumping worst-case-scenarios one can conjure up for the future. 

I think that's part of what actually may hook us on the Past and the Future. Perceived boredom with the present. 

What do you think?

1 Small But Significant Change Will Make Your Day Better

You tend to feel happy when things are going smoothly and feel stressed and anxious when things aren’t. You call it being in the moment or going with the flow. Both seem good on the surface but they can be a risky ways to start your day.

Fortunately, we have easy choices here. Sure we can keep our moods tied to whatever is currently going on, but like I mentioned, that leaves a lot up to chance first thing in the morning.

The easy choice we have is to either be a receiver or creator of our day. When we receive we take the road that comes most naturally to us. We wake up and see how we feel at that moment. And we react.

The better way is to be a creator.

Being a creator doesn’t come naturally because we are hard-wired to take the path of least resistance. But I’ve found 1 little change can make a profound difference in my day and think it can work for you too!

For starters, notice the first thing you think of when you wake up. For most, it is something like, “I’m so tired” or “Morning already?!?” or “I wish I had 10 more minutes…” These thoughts are normal and probably so accurate. But they also start the day off on a scarcity mentality. We’re already needing to dig ourselves out of a negative hole.

Instead, if you want to be a creator, change your first thoughts to, “I got what I needed” or “Hello new day!” or “I’ll make this a great day!” Or something like that. I’d recommend not going overboard with trying to be overly excited. After all, you are still waking up from that awesome, cozy sleepy place.

The easy key to change your day is to start with a few words that tell you, “You’ve got this!” versus starting the day with dread or from a place of not enough. A little change that will make a huge difference!

Our 188 Co-Pilot Cognitive Biases

Courtesy of: Visual Capitalist

3 Ways to Find Happiness Out of Nowhere

Happiness

Because you’re human, I might know what you want. You want things to go your way, obstacles to lift, hardships to be pushed aside, reassurances to be felt, and joy to be free flowing. That’s only normal and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Another thing that’s normal is that most of us have a pretty narrow view of happiness. This limited view gets conditioned into us at an early age and then reinforced over and over. Conditioned. We learn what to be happy about.

We may not think of our concept of happiness as being narrow. After all, we can name tons of things that make us happy! However, the narrowness comes from thinking of happiness as things that must be present in order for us to be happy. Sure those things work. They’re also mostly out of our control.

Think of how much happiness you’re missing!

Happiness Redefined

Let me help with that.

1. Rename. Notice when you aren’t unhappy. Call it happy by default. Seriously. We’re in charge of naming our experiences and feelings. We don’t have to stick to what we’ve done in the past. Pick out the times in your day that you aren’t unhappy and simply rename it as happy!
2. Reframe. Broaden your definition of happy. Don’t just keep it to the neurotransmitter induced “I just won the lottery” or “So-and-so just texted me” versions of happy. Sure those things feel good, okay winning the lottery would feel amazing, but the point is we can stop relying on these feelings. Start reframing other things in your life as things that you can feel happy about when you experience.
3. Reclaim. Create your own happiness by reclaiming your approach. Stop waiting for it to just happen to you or for you to just happen upon it. Take the reigns of your mood and know that you can reclaim control of your own happiness! You just have to choose to. And then repeat.

What do you do to be happier? I’d love to hear your tips and insights!

Guilt and Anxiety When You Lead a Charmed Life: 3 Things to Do

Complex Emotion of Guilt

A new client came in to see me recently and sheepishly admitted that she felt bad for being there. She had put off coming for almost a year and finally made herself come. But it wasn’t because of the emotional pain around a certain experience that made her feel so bad.

This new client felt guilty for having an issue with anxiety because she had such a “charmed” life.

After our meeting I couldn’t help but continue to think about the complex emotion we call guilt. Especially when it keeps us from doing something that will help us…like reaching out for help with something we need help with!

The thing is, anxiety doesn’t really care what kind of life you’ve had in order for it to slip in and make itself at home. Charmed, crappy, or anywhere in between is all fair game when it comes to anxiety. 

Anxiety must love it when people feel guilt and avoid help. The last thing anxiety wants is for its’ person to seek help. It almost seems that anxiety is in cahoots with guilt just for this purpose!

So what can you do about it?

 3 Ways to Overcome Guilt

1. Recognize “guilt” is a conditioned feeling. We may not know how we picked up on this association. But at some point we started associating guilt with having more things than others or doing something others can’t do. We then repeated this association enough times until it stuck. So, to unstick it and condition a different response, whenever your feel your guilt, kindly thank it and then turn your attention onto something else to let it go.
2. Get help anyway. Clearly you not seeking the help you want (and need) is not a message you should listen to. Think of it this way, if your friend gave you the advice to avoid getting help, you’d have no problem not listening to that friend would you? We need to treat our guilt the same way in this case. Just don’t listen to it and look up online someone to help you with your anxiety. 
3. Turn guilt to gratitude. Life isn’t fair and unfortunately there are many examples of haves and have nots. Instead of feeling guilt if you are in the “haves” category, use it as an opportunity to express gratitude for what you have. And try to have that be: gratitude, full stop. It is extremely hard not to feel empathetic to others less fortunate than you. But denying yourself of the help you need does absolutely nothing for someone in a less fortunate situation than you. Gratitude, full stop.

If you find that you have a hard time letting go of the guilt after trying these 3 things, it might be helpful to do a little inner reflection on your feelings of self worth. It is extremely common for people to feel unworthy of good things.

Mainly because feeling worthy makes one think that it automatically assumes some people are unworthy. And that feels totally wrong.

And it is wrong. This is a false dichotomy, and simply not true. No one is unworthy of good things.

So replace self-worth with self-esteem so your brain doesn’t slip into thinking in terms of worthy/unworthy.

The Secret Coffee Meditation No One Talks About

Who: You and anyone else who wants to start a meditation practice that will stick.

What: The Coffee Meditation. It’s simply meditating on your couch or overstuffed living room chair (or any other upright comfortable position) with a hot mug of coffee in your hands.

Why: Because you’ll actually do it.

When: First thing in the morning before everyone gets up. Or whenever it works for your schedule. The key to the success of this meditation is to personalize it so it fits your life in a way that you’ll do it.

How: Pour yourself a cup of coffee (or tea if you’re a tea drinker). Sit in a comfortable spot. Hold your coffee firmly on your lap or set it down beside you. Set your alarm for however many minutes you want to meditate. Start meditating. Feel free to take sips from your coffee during this meditation. When you drink, turn your attention onto your coffee. After your yummy sip, turn it back to your breath or however else you are meditating.

Repeat each day.

Let me know if you have a secret coffee meditation. Coffee meditators of the world unite! :-)