Because you’re human, I might know what you want. You want things to go your way, obstacles to lift, hardships to be pushed aside, reassurances to be felt, and joy to be free flowing. That’s only normal and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Another thing that’s normal is that most of us have a pretty narrow view of happiness. This limited view gets conditioned into us at an early age and then reinforced over and over. Conditioned. We learn what to be happy about.
We may not think of our concept of happiness as being narrow. After all, we can name tons of things that make us happy! However, the narrowness comes from thinking of happiness as things that must be present in order for us to be happy. Sure those things work. They’re also mostly out of our control.
Think of how much happiness you’re missing!
Let me help with that.
- Rename. Notice when you aren’t unhappy. Call it happy by default. Seriously. We’re in charge of naming our experiences and feelings. We don’t have to stick to what we’ve done in the past. Pick out the times in your day that you aren’t unhappy and simply rename it as happy!
- Reframe. Broaden your definition of happy. Don’t just keep it to the neurotransmitter induced “I just won the lottery” or “So-and-so just texted me” versions of happy. Sure those things feel good, okay winning the lottery would feel amazing, but the point is we can stop relying on these feelings. Start reframing other things in your life as things that you can feel happy about when you experience.
- Reclaim. Create your own happiness by reclaiming your approach. Stop waiting for it to just happen to you or for you to just happen upon it. Take the reigns of your mood and know that you can reclaim control of your own happiness! You just have to choose to. And then repeat.
What do you do to be happier? I’d love to hear your tips and insights!